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If Beauty Is Pain, APL Is Gorgeous

3/15/20: Pain was so excruciating through the night that, if I saw a dog suffering to that extent, I would put it down. My bones scream at me and my joints feel unable to support my weight, even laying down. My ribs want to resist breathing in order not to move, as those are clearly bones too, and each one aches beyond aching. 

3/16/29: A tough night and morning gave way to a pain free afternoon. At first, I was certain I would need help giving myself the required daily bath, but by 2pm I was confident I could do it on my own... and I did.

I took morphine along with the chemo tonight and it helped prolong the peace until about two hours before I was allowed my next dose. Sweet Elizabeth, my night nurse and angel-of-mercy, brought me more, but I’m finding it really doesn’t hold a candle to this degree of hurt. She showed up the second I was able to take another dose and delivered it to me with a hot pack which worked surprisingly well to ease the intense ache in my left shoulder. I’m going to try to catch my breath and go to sleep. 

3/17/20: Differentiation Syndrome may be rearing its ugly head. My terrible bone pain could be the early warning sign. The doctors have decided to postpone all chemo therapy and increase the Hydrea in order to reverse the potential for problems. When my WBC drops below 10 (currently at 24.2) they will resume the treatment. The standard range for WBC is 3.7-11.1. When I was diagnosed, I was at 1.2, so 24.2 is a bit of an over correction. 

I took a shower by myself today, had an EKG that showed a slightly rapid heart rate, and had the bandage around my PICC Line changed. 

3/18/20: Chemo is on pause while my WBC drops (now at 25.2) and they switched me from narcotic pain medication to some kind of neuron inhibitors that seem to be working great. I had physical therapy in my room today because I am showing signs of “frozen shoulder,” and felt better immediately after doing some of the exercises. I lost a pound which is awesome because they keep warning me that gaining weight is a side effect of the treatment for this type of cancer. The hospital is on full blown lockdown now and they've officially stopped allowing ALL visitors because of COVID-19.